Head cold day-2. I went to work. I drank juice. I helped customers unintelligibly. My Friend Terry sent me the latest copy of his Korean Adventures.

Complete with errors and omissions, here’s a copy for your reading pleasure:

Hello and Happy New Year,
yes It’s me! Did I hear something about the proverbial bad penny? Where to begin. At the end will do. As you know I came here without having all the required documents. NOt really legal but my boss hired me anyway. He offered me a new contract, providing I could get the required documents, and I accepted. I came back to Canada to get it. In September I returned to Korea. The deal was I would give my boss the documents and he would go to immigration in Cheonju tell them that he needed a teacher and hand over my papers. He would tell them that he knew me and every thing would be fine. Remember the saying ‘I see no Indians’ well, guess what. My boss, when asked by the immigration man ‘ do you know where he is’ said NO. Um!!!!!!!! The I.M. [immigration man] pointed to the computer screen and said ‘maybe you can tell me why he is in an apartment registered to you’?
Long story short, my boss who is so nice and soooooooooooooooooooooooooo honest blew it. IM said I think he was working illegally and I won’t proccess the visa.
My boss now has a problem. IM knows that I am here so I have to leave. My boss wants me to stay untill he can find a new teacher. OK I’ll do that. Next day my boss gets a phone call from a recruitment agent’ are you looking for a teacher’?
Um, coincidence you ask. IM and recruitment agent????? more on that later.
R.A. [recruitment agent] promises teacher in a week. If it’s too good to be true etc. Yep, by the end of the week no teacher. I have been busy and through a friend have managed to get a job in Inchon, [yes THAT landing place] to start in 2 weeks. A week has gone by and no teacher. By Wednesday of the second week my boss is getting an upset stomach. He asks me to dinner and says’ I have a problem can you stay because it seems that I won’t have a teacher by the time you leave’ Its a bog deal because the parents are paying for a foreign techer to speak English and if there is’nt one boss looses face and probably kids and so on. We talk and the outcome is, I agree to stay untill he gets a new teacher. The other foreign teacher; Catrina, has told him she is leaving on the 8th December so we agree that I will go back to Canada and he will then apply again for a visa for me to replace Catrina. As I will be out of the country this time there won’t be a problem. Ah, don’t laugh!!!!!
I booked a flight and 2 days before I left a foreign teacher showed up. I say foreign because he comes from deepest Texas and the first words out of his mouth were ‘hi yaaaallll’ Think about the kids who have heard me for a year and now Texas Jack appears! By the way, remember the RA from before, well, Jack didn’t come from him. In fact that RA is wanted by the police for a variety of ‘things’. Needless to say my boss will not see the fee he paid up front returned!!!!!!!
So, I’m on the way to Canada with just a backpack. The rest of my stuff is in the apartment. I have emailed my friend Bryan, who was in Cheonju with me and is now in Toronto, to meet me at the airport. I arrive and no Bryan. NExt day when I talked to him. yea well, remember, Korea is 13 hours ahead. I gave him the Korea date for arriving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I stayed with Bryan for 3 days, If you ever get to Toronto ask him about the Chicken deli!!!!!!! Then headed for Ottawa. The bus system in Canada sucks. Cramped and expensive. Anyway I went to Randys and waited for the Email from my boss calling me back. Its funny how after not seeing snow for a while you really
don’t miss it!!!!! Finally the email arrived. Remember the IM, well, guess what he said. NO VISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t think he likes my boss and my boss being the honest person that he is didm’t ask if he would like a camera from Canada!
So, I’m now at Randys with 2 dogs, snow, 4 tshirts a pair of jeans and no job!
Back to the internet and look for a new job. After many hours of reading postings sending emails and getting rejected I had finally narrowed it down to one that wanted me to start on the 2nd of January. Of course they want my papers. Guess where they are and guess what we have in Canada and the States. Yep SNOW STORM!! Instead of 3 days by international courier its 7. I must say that it was a little difficult to remain calm whilst waiting.
Anyway they finally arrived and I left Randys for Ottawa. The way it works in Korea is that you can either send original documents and the school will get the local immigration office to issue the visa authorization papers or, you can send notorized copies that have been stamped by the Korean Embassy. I stayed with Paul and Gail amd on Monday morning I presented my notorized documents to the Korean visa man. Remember the IM in Cheonju. they must have been related!!!!! The Kva refused to stamp the papers. Why, they were issued from the States and I had to have them stamped there!!!!!!!!!!!!
F***ing bureacrats!!!!!
As you all know there is absolutly no point in arguing with one of those especially if they are from another country.
Needless to say I was beginning to think that Mrs Murphys kid had a contract on me.
A quick email to the school in Korea telling them what had happened and that I was sending the ‘stuff’ by courier. It will not have escaped you that it was the season to be jolly and businesses were thinking about closing down. I ahd to book a flight and hope that the paper would arrive from Korea in time. I booked for the 29th December,the last available seat. The courier was closed on the 26th my flight was at 7.00 from Ottawa on the 29th. I must admit to having a few more grey hairs these days. the paper arrived on the 27th. I said goodby to Paul and Gail at 5.30 on the 29th and headed for the airport. I had a coonecting flight in Toronto to San Francisco and then to Seoul. you have to clear US customs in Toronto. Flight was at 9.00 so I had an hour to spare. The plane was late leaving Ottawa and had to wait to dock in Toronto. My 60 minutes evaporated!!! By the time my bad came down the shute I had 20 minutes to clear customs and get the plane. The US customs was really nice. He wanted to talk about teaching in Korea!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOw I’m down to 10 minutes. Do you remember the add about the guy runningb through the airport swerving around old ladies and jumping over bags. Well just put me there!!!. As I hurtled towards the gate I heard ‘ would Terry Lyons report to the Air Canada gate as soon as possible’ I have often wondered what you’d feel like if that was your name being called. NOt any more!!
‘ you must be Mr Lyons’ ‘We had just about given you up’ “I gasp gasp would think, gasp gasp, that I have gasp gasp lost the exit door seat gasp” Yes, however I think
I can find you a better seat in business class,ok? GASP!
I’ll never say a bad word about Air Canada again.
I arrived in Seoul at 7.00 pm on the 30th. Hurried towards the carrosel and waited and waited and waited. Remember, I’ll never say a bad word. Well, I DID!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep, my bag did,’nt arrive. this time there was no snow and no dogs and no tshirts!
Filled in the lost luggage form, all in Korean and sent a prayer to the gods of lost lugage. Down the hall to immigration. Big grin. Here I am all legal now. HAnd over the passport and the paper. ‘This is not visa’ I must have looked somewhat stunned because he repeated it, louder and slower!!!!!
It must be a joke. I’m having a dream, I’m not really here. Unfortunatly none of the above. It seems as though my boss did’nt tell me that I needed this paper stamped in Canada before I left!!!!!
Ah well, another trip to Japan comming up this week or next. I have all the right papers they just need to stamped by the Korean Embassy outside of Korea.
All I can say is if I ever meet that MURPHY kid it won’t get any older!!!!!!!!!

I think that this is all for now. I’ll tell you about the school next time and I promise to keep the next one a tad shorter.
Take care
Terry