So the word came down from Rabbit and the word was “Get me a baloon with a cartoon face on it, one of the kids at the daycare is leaving”. I almost forgot to go out to get it, but when I did finaly leave I jogged (walked briskly) around the corner to Send in the Clowns.
Once there, I stood open-mouthed and blankly at the baloon display where Big Bird smiled down generously at me. The balloon I wanted was still in it’s envelope so once selected me and my new friend (Elmo™) strolled over to the cash where an otherwise hidden sales girl offered to ring it through. The she imediately set to work tearing the packaging open and once half way through looked up at me in mid-tear and asked, “do you want this infalted now?” Since my lungs are limited to carbon dioxide in the area of gasses that I am able to safely exhale, I accepted her offer.
The balloon then changed hands in a transaction I did not witness because I was busy sliding by Interact™ card through their POS machine.
“So is there a specail event today?” asked the girl inflating Elmo.
“Yes”, I replied, “my wife works at a daycare and I’m told someone is leaving.”
I was rewarded for my candor with a chorus of sympathetic “aaaaaaaaahs”.
“…so”, I continued “she sent me here to pick up a floating Elmo head”.
“Well you couldn’t be more specific than that,” laughed inflation-girl tieing off Elmos thin neck.
With my Interact transaction was complete I folded my receipt and tucked it into my trousers. Infaltion-girl continued this conversation topic with Till-girl offering “that sounds like the kind of funny order I would like to try on my boyfriend…”
“Yes fetch me a severed head…” I suggested to a chorus of titters.
“Well keep sending you body parts until we get all of our money…” I offered to a harmony of giggles.
By then I had turned on my heel with Elmo’s melon in tow and was heading for the door and offered a final “we’ll send an Elmo finger every day wrapped in newspapers to show them we’re serious.”
The girls laughed in approval and asked me to have a good day. Once on the street I saw one of the guys who works the till our local branch of the Canada Trust. He saw me right away and I could see he was about to chide me about my bouyant ward.
As he opened his mouth I blurted out “I’m buying him in installments”, and continued down the street Elmo bobbing optimistically behind me.
